I hate being in a funk. All I want to do is stay home and not talk to anybody. I just sit on my couch with my legs stretched out on my ottoman with hot tea and a book. Granted, I love to read, and this has been a good time for me to catch up on my reading. However, I start going days with no desire to leave the house, then I know it isn’t good for me.

Could it be spring fever? Perhaps just plain ole burnout? I’m not sure.

I was feeling more myself tonight at church than what I have in a long time. It was really nice just laughing with friends and talking about random stuff…like “The Bachelor” big twist last night. Just for the record, I didn’t watch it nor have I ever watched any episode of that show. I listened to the conversation and laughed at the jokes. I do watch reality tv (note: a lot), but I’ve never gotten into that show for some reason.

Anywho, it was nice to get in the routine even though I quietly rebel against it throughout the day. Sometimes, I think I don’t want to leave because of how difficult it is with leaving Luke at places. I remember when Jack went through this separation anxiety at this age, and it was no fun. It seems like everywhere I drop Luke off I’m just down the hall and can hear him cry for me the entire time. Talk about feeling like a lousy mom.

I start worrying about not spending enough time with him and whether he is driving everyone bonkers (hehe) with his crying. It really does come down to me feeling like a bad mom. All he wants is me, and I leave him with other people. Not all the time, but I have obligations that I have to do, and I feel this constant pull between my obligations and Luke.

It is getting to the point that nothing is enjoyable when I have to leave him somewhere. I wonder if it is worth having him get so upset. I know some will say he is testing me or pushing limits. Others will say that I should be a “true” stay-at-home mom and just stay home with him. Although, it doesn’t matter what anyone says since I’m punishing myself worst than what anyone else can do.

There is something therapeutic about typing a blog about being in a funk and possibly getting down to the actually reason why I’m in that funk. I’m just in need of some prayers. Mainly that Luke will be excited and happy when he goes to preschool, CBS, Sunday School and Cubbies. No more tears at drop-off. I feel like at this moment life would go so much smoother if both my boys loved going places, playing with friends and learning new things.

First, my oldest son was a ringbearer for our sweet friends yesterday. He did SO good. I couldn’t believe how well he did during the ceremony. He only fell off the steps twice. Not bad for a 5 year old! As usual, I have pictures to document this occasion:

My name is Jack…you can call me Handsome.

Another adorable one!

Downtime

Lots of downtime for this ringbearer…

Flowers for the bride (oh yeah…I’m teaching him right!)

The flower girl and ringbearer (so stinkin’ cute!!)

Come on, Jack! Just one more picture with your mom!!

Today was another fun day. The boys and I went to church and ate at Cici’s Pizza with our friends. Then, we went to the mall because we had to fix Daddy Monkey’s voice box.

See, last weekend was “The Weekend of Nastiness”. The vomiting that Luke had on Thursday continued its course through Jack and myself. Yucko. Not fun at all.

Unfortunately, Daddy Monkey was a casualty. Jack’s favorite stuffed animal had to be washed. Twice.

Jack got it back on Friday and quickly realized the voice box that makes monkey sounds did not work. Yikes. Not a happy little boy. I don’t think I’ve ever seen such sad tears.

So, we went to Build-a-Bear today to fix Daddy Monkey, and I wanted Luke to get him a special stuffed animal. Luke is an equal opportunity lover of stuffed animals, and he hasn’t had the chance of making a stuffed animal at Build-a-Bear.

Meet Fred the Bunny:

I admit he is a little on the girly side, but Luke gave him a manly name like Fred to make up for any confusion.

He loves this bunny!

A lot…

Fred posing while Luke plays Indiana Jones on the X-Box 360.

Can you guess what sound Luke wanted in Fred the Bunny? This one.

Yep. The magic sound. Poor Fred got a little bit girlier with that sound. However, Luke loves it and that is all that matters. Plus, I really like having such a soft and sweet looking bunny in this house. Kinda makes up for all the legos. And video games. And burping. Ok, not the burping.

Needless to say, I’ve been up for the last 2 hours with Lukey. He started throwing up right around midnight and has thrown up 5 more times. He is sleeping on the couch with me in the recliner because he is so exhausted that he doesn’t even quite wake up when he has to throw up. My poor baby.

I’m praying that he sleeps for the rest of the night. He hasn’t woke up since 1:30 am. Hopefully, it is just something he ate. I really don’t want the whole family to get the stomach bug. Pray for quick healing for Lukey and protection for the rest of us.